What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and...

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Would you let your partner cheat on you every now and again?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Why do I get stressed when I go to bed?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

What are the main issues that have historically and currently divided Republicans and Democrats?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Is it common for people to fall in love with someone else while still married? If so, why do they choose to stay in their marriage?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

My boyfriend won’t tell me his past and it hurts me so I broke up with him what do I do?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

What are some funny stories of people calling 911 for non-emergencies?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Are there any nude pictures of women with big tits?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Why do people smoke?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Why do our deceased do not protect us from other bad spirits?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

The Best Deals Today: Indiana Jones and the Great Circle, Nintendo Switch OLED, and More - IGN

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.